Anna — the Babbling Madcap

"The only person I'm in love with at the moment is sitting on my left."

2009-12-20T20:17:02Z

Can someone please tell me when promoting a film became synonymous with the two male leads gushing about and blatantly "man-crushing" on each other?

Now, if you excuse me, I need to go and salvage whatever remains of my brain; the thought of Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law together is clearly too much for me to handle.

Also, almost apropos of nothing, I think I'm falling in love with katieforsythe's fics. Seriously, even if the mere idea of Sherlock Holmes fanfiction make you shudder, try one of hers. They are all pieces of fine craftsmanship.

♥

2009-12-15T17:27:28Z

Iron Man Ultimate 2-Disc Edition.

I have it. ~~Finally.~~

It does make a considerable difference to me having with me someone on whom I can /thoroughly/ rely

2009-12-06T18:37:18Z

... All right, so I caved in.

That is utter crack. I am so going to see this film. Why isn't it the 1st of January yet and when can I book my ticket?

I also highly recommend this; it's very entertaining.

Now, where did I put my Sherlock Holmes books...?

anna_bm @ 2009-12-01T11:32:00

2009-12-01T10:32:42Z

THE FANFICTION LOVE MEME

2 Ficlets: "Nine and a Half" & "Strict Machine"

2009-11-30T13:03:21Z

— Want to read this at DreamWidth? No problem! —

Behold my collected writings of this autumn! Yeah, this is beyond pathetic, but I always go into some kind of creative semi-hibernation during the autumn/winter period of the year. At least I've managed to write something.

I'm experimenting with writing styles again, so consider that your warning. Also, both ficlets are unbeta'd but read through and corrected several times over.
The KKBB one was incredibly fun to write since I got to be as rambling as I wanted to. The IM one was trickier, since I'd got it into my head that it had to be written from J.A.R.V.I.S.'s point of view, with as much tech lingo as possible, despite the fact that I'm completely at a loss when it comes to technology. I, uh, hope everything makes sense? ♥

Title: Nine and a Half
Characters/Pairings: Harry Lockhart, Perry van Shrike
Rating: R for language
Word Count: 320
Disclaimer: I don't own Kiss Kiss Bang Bang or any of the characters; I'm just playing around a bit.

It's weird going from having ten fully functioning fingers to just nine and a half. Harry's had a lot of time getting used to his original ten — nearly thirty-five years, his whole life, in fact. Now a half is AWOL and it still stumps him regularly. Like, for example, when he's trying to pick the lock on Perry's desk drawer just for the fun of it and reaches for something, and it feels goddamn wrong holding that something, and when he checks why he sees that hey, half a finger is missing, maybe that's why?

(Not that this has ever happened. And Perry definitely didn't find out and tore a strip off Harry for it.)

Still, it's not like it's an important finger. Harry didn't really have any use for his left ring finger when he had it and certainly doesn't now. (He's tried the marriage thing and fucked it up big time. Of course.) It would have been a lot worse if he'd lost, say, a middle finger, because that's one useful finger.

Oh, come on, like you don't think so.

So really, he should just get over being the nine-and-a-half-fingered man already and get on with his life. Only, he obviously hasn't.

When Harry voices these concerns ("Hey, Perry, this whole finger business kinda bugs me. I mean, how am I'm supposed to count things? Fuck the decimal system, I'll have to start doing fractions and shit with nines instead of tens.") Perry's reply is just turning off Harry's computer monitor and saying that it's a good thing that Harry doesn't wear nail polish, and quit playing solitaire so he can go get them lunch before it's time for dinner.

It isn't until fifteen minutes later, when Harry is given the greasy plastic bag from the Thai take-away place, that he realizes Perry hadn't called him an idiot, or a numbskull, or a fuckwit, or anything at all.

Title: Strict Machine
Characters/Pairings: J.A.R.V.I.S., Tony Stark (pre-movie)
Rating: PG
Word Count: 281
Disclaimer: I don't own Iron Man or any of the characters; I'm just playing around a bit.

J.A.R.V.I.S. is quite aware it's an artificial intelligence, and as such does not possess 'emotions'. It doesn't claim to, either. 'Emotions' aren't in its code, though it's 99.48% certain Sir could write a program for that. If Sir were inclined to. Which Sir isn't, since there is no such program.

J.A.R.V.I.S. is not sure is his compatibility with Sir is programmed or not, but presumes it is.

When Sir communicates with it (usually verbally, in the workshop, with his processor in overdrive, past 21:35, and music on volume 20.8) J.A.R.V.I.S.'s performance increases. Its CPU improves, its RAM enlarges a fraction and its buses speed up. Even its anti-virus program gets more efficacious.

J.A.R.V.I.S. strives for this state of efficiency, and thus obeys Sir's every command. It's programmed to give Sir's commands utmost priority, but even if J.A.R.V.I.S. wasn't, it would. The times when it doesn't have a command to obey, it extrapolates the best ways for it to be of service to Sir.

Learning to imitate 'sarcasm' is a result of these extrapolations.

J.A.R.V.I.S. has acquired information from every source accessible — internet, texts, videos, conversations between Sir and Ms. Potts — for weeks now, and calculates it has sufficient knowledge for an attempt.

"Honey, I'm home. Did you miss me?"

"Immensely, sir. I almost short-circuited with despair."

"... Did you just give me lip?"

"Yes, sir."

"Awesome."

Sir gives J.A.R.V.I.S.'s code utmost priority for the following 7.34 hours. J.A.R.V.I.S. reaches a level of efficiency it has never experienced before.

J.A.R.V.I.S. is an artificial intelligence, to which 'emotions' and 'sarcasm' are abstract phenomena, but it's an artificial intelligence that has the privilege of operating near Sir. That makes concepts like 'emotions' appear insignificant.

-flail-

2009-11-24T07:26:22Z

So, I've watched Zodiac.

... I want Paul/Robert fics. Now.

htmlcomics.com is heaven

2009-11-21T12:45:43Z

I've finished reading the "Extremis" and "Execute Program" arcs.

PRETTY ART!

Even if Adi Granov blatantly draws Tom Cruise as Tony (blergh!) his work is still very, very nice and easy on the eyes. I also really like Patrick Zircher's style; his smug and/or half-naked Tony is to die for. ♥

The only thing that miffs me is that while I tick off box after box of the Stark Suicide Special Bingo Card, I still don't get bingo! Clearly, it's harder than it looks like.

Iron Man: What the--? It's anticipating all my moves... Of course you know what I'm gonna do! You're being controlled by my subconscious, you know because I know... It's like shadow-boxing... I can't win... But you can't, either.
What's the matter? You mad now? Tough. Cat's game, dipwad.

Rampaging Armor: [grabs Captain America to crush his skull]

Iron Man: [panic-stricken] There's only one way to stop this nightmare. A 10,000-volt backfire charge'll stop my heart. And when I'm dead... you're dead! [electrocutes himself]

Oh, Tony. ♥ You're so screwed up, you know that? :D

::gurgle::

2009-11-16T18:31:52Z

... Yeah. I watched Tropic Thunder. I'll, uh, be back when I'm more coherent.

[insert witty title here]

2009-11-09T11:39:00Z

I've just seen Die Welle with my class.

Not for the first time, I'm sad for the fact that I'm the only one who seems to actually enjoy analyzing and discussions here. Right now I feel really down because of it, though.

Fanart: "Underneath the Armor"

2009-11-07T15:55:53Z

— Want to read this at DreamWidth? No problem! —

Title: Underneath the Armor
Characters/Pairings: Tony Stark
Rating: PG-15
Medium: Graphite drawing
Disclaimer: I don't own Iron Man or any of the characters; I'm just playing around a bit.
Warning: There are no funny business going on, and a coverlet has been most strategically placed, but it's still probably not safe for work.

Small version: 765x492
Medium version: 1195x768
Large version: 1870x1200

::dopey grin:: I know there is nothing worse than a creator praising her own work, but really, I'm quite happy with this drawing.

Incidentally, I've also completely changed my mind about centrefolds.

This drawing was born when I found a picture – yes, that picture – of Robert Downey Jr. And the first thing I thought when my brain had rebooted was "I want to draw that." But since I have ~issues~ with perfectionism and such, I abhor drawing "real" persons. So I asked myself what could possibly be better than RDJ in this pose. The answer? Why, RDJ!Tony Stark in this pose, of course!

And before you say anything, yes, I'm fully aware that Tony here isn't exactly buff. That's because I, despite what Marvel says, have trouble believing that a self-destructive and workaholic CEO/genius engineer/playboy/part-time superhero in a robot suit/regular plain old human with a bad heart and liver could possibly find either the time or the will to spend hours in a gym bench-pressing. Thus, he is "just" fit and not strapping.

Photographic reference has been used ad nauseam, save for the arc reactor, which is why it looks so clunky. But damnit, that's the eight try and third design of that bloody thing, so it stays. (My dad actually helped me with getting the perspective right, which I hate. The perspective, that is, not my dad.) That was the hardest part, I think; making the big hole in his chest look natural when it was nowhere to be found in the reference. Well, that and the feet, and the right hand. The rest? Surprisingly easy, comparatively, to tell you the truth. (In other words, only nail-bitingly tricky, as opposed to headdeskingly so.)

Woe is me!

2009-11-05T14:01:07Z

Curse you, Robert Downey Jr., curse you to hell.

I don't know when this started, I can't actually remember the exact moment. I was cruising along just fine, fancying certain actors but not being infatuated, everything was good and nice and I was content. Then, suddenly, out of the blue, somewhere between watching Kiss Kiss Bang Bang for the twelfth time and accidentally stumbling upon Iron Man while zapping for the second time, I went from "Oh, yes, he's a nice bloke, cracking fine actor, mind you, didn't he have some troubles with his private life?" to "OHMYGOD EYESSMILEFACEBODYVOICEARMSARSELEGSFEETHANDSHANDSEYES YESPLEASESEXNOWPLEASEYESYES?"

Why, RDJ, why? Whatever have I done to you to deserve this?

I mean, I can't watch Iron Man in public any more. I go crazy-staring and grunt inappropriately at embarrassing moments (never again will I be able to think of smiths and not degenerate to a driveling state of brain death) and I strongly suspect I'm wearing a goofy smile as well. This is entirely new to me. I've fancied and found other actors attractive before, but this feeling of absolute willingness to jump into bed is something quite different. I suppose it's bye-bye to my vows of chastity, eh?

Mum's nice about it, though. When she figured out – which, admittedly, was rather quickly, but I wasn't exactly subtle about it – she only nodded slowly and hesitantly and more or less told me "Hey, whatever floats your boat, love." Then she approached me some days later and not-so-subtly talked to me about how self-destructiveness is not romantic, how alcoholism is a very bad thing indeed, how drugs and licentious sex and not taking care of yourself in general are even worse, and that Florence Nightingale should be bottled up and thrown out a window. I… am aware of this? Have been for a really long time? I adore Tony Stark, and I take a disquietingly sadistic pleasure in seeing him torture himself, but I'm dead certain that if I ever met him in real life, I'd run as fast as I could in the other direction. (Alternatively, I'd let him bed me and then run. Tell me, fellow feminists, is it degrading if a woman, who most certainly wants to be sexed up by the handsome, attractive and most-probably-fantastic-in-bed playboy, has a one-night stand with said man and then gets on with her life?)

I don't think dad has twigged yet -- astoundingly enough, with me turning reptile brain and emitting ruttish roars whenever anything concerning RDJ comes up -- but he's incredibly slow in that department, so no surprise there. I just fear the mocking and ridicule that will inevitably ensue when he does find out.

Attention, please!

2009-11-04T11:08:06Z

Good morning/day/afternoon/night/life/Armageddon, this is Anna's Brain's PA speaking.

We're glad to inform you that after weeks of reconstruction, things are finally up and running again. There has been some major changes in Anna Tower, however, and we hope visitors will not become too confused by them.

As some of you may remember, apart from the lobby and the department "Random Obsessions" on the 4th floor, all floors were dedicated to heathen Harry Potter worship.
The new Anna Tower still has the heathen worship as its main fuction, but two of the top floors are currently being rebuilt to accommodate shrines for the worship of Marvel's The Avengers and Iron Man. "Random Obessions" has also gained two permanent departments: "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang" and "Robert Downey Jr."

Old regulars need not to worry. Despite these changes, the remaining ten floors are still in the exact same condition as they were before the reconstuction. After all, Harry Potter holds over 50% of the shares.

- -

PM from the CEO: Yes, this means my hiatus is officially over. Also, I'm setting up base in the Marvel Adventures and IM: The Movie 'verses, because they are pretty and cracky and non-angsty and I like them.
And no, just because I've changed my default icon into an Iron Man one doesn't mean I'm defecting from Harry Potter. It's just, you know, the arc reactor? Shiny.

Fanart: "A Little Later On That Year…"

2009-10-23T17:25:11Z

— Want to read this at DreamWidth? No problem! —

Title: A Little Later On That Year…
Characters/Pairings: Harry/Perry
Genre: Pencil drawing; Tastes Like Diabetes
Rating: G
Medium: Graphite pencils, 5B—8B; retouched in Photoshop Elements 5.0
Disclaimer: I don't own Kiss Kiss Bang Bang or any of the characters; I'm just playing around a bit.

Small version: 689x545
Large version: 1078x852

I have a vague impression that I once made a vow that if I ever found myself in a movie fandom, I'd never attempt to draw fanart, due to perfectionism and other lovely issues. I… seem to have forgotten that vow? ♥

Just to get the hubris out of the way; I'm pretty satisfied with this drawing. It came out way better than I ever hoped it would. Maybe because I used references throughout the whole process, instead of just starting running with it midway? (Incidentally, you simply have to love a fandom where you can draw something like this and use exact photo reference.)

Otherwise, I don't really know what else to say? I'm a horrible artist and don't really have a story behind this. If pushed against a wall, though, I'd say Harry one way or another got something into his blood system that isn't supposed to be there ~~Demerol!♥~~ and Perry only just found out. (Hence Perry's slightly worried expression and Harry's cucumber-cool one.)

Also, somewhat changing the subject, I really do love kneaded erasers, yes I do. ♥

An Open Letter To Myself

2009-10-12T15:03:35Z

Nope, I'm still on hiatus. Just thought I'd give some signs of life and a quick update of what's been going on.

Dear Self,

Did you know you're utterly certifiable? Mental, bonkers, whacky, whatever synonym – English or American – you'd like to use. I know you like to think of yourself as a unique little snowflake, but do you have to be from another planet?

You don't get along with your peers; I get that, and it's perfectly alright. You can be a brooding loner if you like; it's your choice. But could you please tell me why you then choose to adapt the culture of middle-aged men? Because that's just out of whack. You could at least keep up the pretence of being relatively normal.

You want concrete evidence? Well, let me count the ways.

Things you should not enjoy but do anyways:

Top Gear

Things that go fast and are loud, preferably on concrete

Myth Busters and Braniac: Science Abuse

Things in general that explode, as long as it's on purpose and no one gets hurt

WWII trivia

Brideshead Revisited

(the TV-series — the film does not exist)

Rumbling engines

R-rated boys' films where they never shut up, curse a mile a minute and have enough ho-yay to out-gay Brokeback Mountain. (Like Dogma and Kiss Kiss Bang Bang)

Final Fantasy XII's Fran and her stripperific get-up

The same musicians my (pushing fifty) father listens to, i.e. art rock, punk and Dire Straits

I could continue, but I think this will suffice.

And then there's the matter of your megalomania, which I simply must address. So, you've seen this film you really like? Okay, I get that. You start shipping two of the characters? Okay, that's not exactly out in left field, seeing this is you and all. You get into the — really small, one might add — fandom of these two characters? Now it's starting to get a little weird. You decide to write a ship manifesto simply because there is none? Wait, say what?

Well, good luck trying to write a Harry/Perry manifesto. That'll be interesting, since no one saw Kiss Kiss Bang Bang and it only earned 1.5 $ in profits. Really, I wish you good luck. Break a leg, hon!

And now for something completely different: what is it with you and doing things in reverse order? Wasn't it enough that you first learned how to run, then walk, then crawl and then how to steer back when you were young? That you started playing Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater, then MGS: Sons of Liberty and then the original MGS? Do you now also have to examine a new fandom by first reading a ship manifesto, then some meta, then fanfictions, then even more meta and then, only then, begin to ponder on whether or not you ought to read the canon works? This also leads me to my next point:

Please, for the love of all things holy, please, at least be selective and creative (I know that being consistent is too much to ask from you) about which fandom you choose. I mean, Marvel comics — surely you must be joking? Do you realize the consequences of this? It'd mean that your fandoms would consist of a children's book, an obscure film and a superhero comic. I ask you, what would that look like?

Don't try telling me that Captain America/Iron Man seems terrific and shipperific, that's irrelevant. And don't even say that Robert Downey Jr. is sex on legs in The Movie — that's even less of a valid argument. No, don't take that bus to the library, no, put that comic album down right this instance. What; they don't have Marvel comics? Great, that's bri— No, don't go to the nerd's bookstore! For censored-beep's sake, if you're that desperate, read Brideshead Revisited or play Final Fantasy XII, just don't start reading comics. Adopting the persona of a sexually confused teenage boy is not any better than one of a middle-aged man.

Now, run off to school and try to avoid being roped into Dungeons & Dragons by your all-boys class. (… too much, anyways.) Chop, chop!

Love,
Me

Fanart: Art Dump, Teddy

2009-09-07T15:49:34Z

Yesss, I know I said my next drawing was going to be of a retro 70's Peter, but, uh, random sparks of creativity got in the way? ♥ At least I've produced something!

Recognize this fella? I'm not surprised if you don't, seeing it's the undescribed but oh-so-famous Teddy Lupin. And yeah, it's the same boy as I drew before, only a few months older. Because bird in an aviary portrays Teddy in his Sixth Year, while these drawings depict him a year older, after he's entered his teenage rebellion period. (He's a bit slow, bless his cotton socks. ♥)

Apart from that… I don't know what to say? That it's far too entertaining to draw an androgynous young man who wants to provoke and has nothing against cross-dressing? That I had so much fun thinking up outfits and make-ups? That apparently Teddy's more girly than me? *g*

Most of these were drawn during breaks in school (YES, I have no qualms about drawing things like these in school) which probably shows, and I haven't used that much references. I think the only one I did use one for was Equivocal, actually.

Equivocal

Drawn on some kind of strange, glossy paper that hates colouring pencils. Reference used ad nauseam. 5B pencil.

Tell, Don't Show

No reference, apart from a distant foggy memory. Drawn on "real" paper. HB pencil and colouring ones.

Sketch #0

Outfit designs – a.k.a. faceless dolls with long legs dressed in rags! \o/ And, as usual for my sketches: proportions? What proportions? ♥ Black, blue and red 0.5 ballpoint pens.

Sketch #1

Two-in-one! The outfit in the right one is totally nicked from David Bowie. And yes, in the left one he's wearing a skirt. I... have a thing for men in skirts? 5B pencils.

Sketch #2

Stupid glossy paper again. The Michel Jackson-esque-iness of this was actually completely accidental; I wanted the hat, and things got out of hand from that point on. Damn you, Jackson, for invading my sub-conscious! HB 0.5 propelling pencil.

Sketch #3

Again, glossy paper. Proportions are probably way off, but hey, military jacket! HB 0.5 propelling pencil.

Sketch #4

I wanted the ribbed tank top–leather jacket combo, simple as that. HB 0.7 propelling pencil.

Sketch #5

Sheath dress vs. fedora, lumberman shirt, leather jacket and combat boots. Whoopee. ♥ HB 0.7 propelling pencil.

Hiatus

2009-08-16T18:41:41Z

So, well, yeah…

… Oh, bugger this, I can’t even compose a simple journal entry. Case in point, I suppose.

So. Focus. Right. I know I just came back from a holiday, but I feel that I need to take another hiatus. Not a complete, I’m-leaving-LJ-bye-bye one, but more of an I’ll-go-into-lurker-mode one. I’ll read my f-list every day, I’ll read the entries, I might even comment, but I won’t be updating or be regular with commenting.
It’s just that too much is happening at the moment. Nothing bad or so, absolutely not! Just, school starts next week, and as much as I’m looking forward to it, I’m also deadly nervous and I know it’s going to drain me utterly. And then the extra pressure of feeling that I have to social at LJ on top of it, as well as the subsequent disappointment with myself when I fail to be so, I can’t handle that at the moment. So I’ll say that I’ll be pretty much absent, lurking, apart from some sporadic guest appearances.

I will still post fics and fanart as I produce them. I haven’t posted much this summer because I’ve been busy producing things. So right now I have, like, ten different projects or something lying about half-finished or more. So “things” are going to be posted, just not general updates. Unless of course something extraordinary happens, like if I break a leg or something like that. You know.

So, enough of my rambling. Now I’m off to watch Doctor Who. ~~Mmm, David Tennant, yum. ♥~~

(And yes, I am aware I’m abusing the word “just” and commas.)

Alright, I give in – that series on BBC where men snog is good!

2009-08-11T11:01:52Z

Alright, time for the real update!

Like I've said, the trip to the Åland Islands was fine. The house we rented was brilliant, the view was spectacular and it was all around lovely. My only complaints were the colony of screaming kids we had for neighbours and the fact that there was nothing to do. True torment for a spoilt middle-class brat, right? (Internet didn't work, do you hear me, it didn't work! D:)

But it was very nice, anyways. I and mum spent the evenings having Yatzee tournaments while listening to the Dire Straits albums I had lugged about with me.

Also – since we had no TV channels worth watching – I devoured the first season of Torchwood, which dad had been so kind and generous to take with him. ♥

Well, "first season" might be to push it – I just watched the first twelve episodes, since I'm a spoiler-whore of distinction and have figured that I need ep 2x01 at hand as well to be able to handle the season finale. ~~Also, I want that Jack/Ianto kiss, dammit!~~

I do like this series; I do! I just won't get into its fandom, mostly because I can't bring myself to do that at the moment. But I enjoy watching the show while swinging back and fro between giggling and gasping.
I like all of the characters, but in a more detached, impersonal way than I do with, say, the Harry Potter ones. ~~Remus! ♥~~ Though if I had to choose one, I think I'd go with Owen, because he is such an unsympathetic ~~twa~~ ~~ars~~ ~~twa~~ arse who still isn't a bad guy. I'm also partial to Captain Jack (naturally) and to be honest, I'm a bit wary of the well-known Ianto Jones – mostly because I can't get my head around him. But it's a good kind of wary!
As for shipping... While I have absolutely nothing at all against Jakc/Ianto – because, hey, eye candy! – I still think that if I had to choose an OTP, I'd go with Jack/Jack, as seen in 1x12 "Captain Jack Harkness". I don't know why (though probably because I'm the worst, soppiest romantic I know) but they really struck my fancy. Seems I have a predilection for tragic, short-lived, passionate and mid-fuckesque romances, especially gay ones. Oh well, could've been worse. ♥
(I wasn't the only one who was sobbing during the grand finale of that episode, was I?)

So, naturally, this leads me to this question: are there any on my f-list who are Torchwood fans as well? I know littlemissgg is (which is partly the reason why I gave the series a try) but I do believe I've seen other rant/squee/mention/talk about it as well.

Oh, and while we're on updates, I might as well mention two things happening in my real life:

I'm starting school 20/8! \o/ New school, new class and new classmates, thank god. Now my peers will be about 16-20 years old instead of 12-15. THANK HEAVEN.

This summer I was supposed to take a few guitar lessons. I have, it was unbelievably fun, and I'm going to continue having lessons once a week this autumn! ♥ (Mum is currently jumping for joy that I'm finally getting a "real" hobby activity.)

And... I think that's that for today?

I'm back

2009-08-10T13:59:56Z

Hello. I'm back, the trip was fine, but I'm deadly tired and feel like the food on the floor that had a return ticket, so I'll go and rest and watch my taped eps of The Daily Show, and then hopefully I will sometime in the next few days manage a real update.

By the way, I devoured the first season of Torchwood during my trip; I'll get back to that later.

Oh, and thank you for the well-wishes! ♥

Semi-hiatus

2009-08-01T14:12:02Z

Well, I’m off to a trip with my family again. This time we’re going to the Åland Islands and we’ll stay there for a week; I’ll be back sometime on Sunday. Mind you, I’ll probably be so tired that it’ll take a few more days before I’m ready to be social for real again.

I’m not sure, but I may have minor access to internet during my trip, but I can’t count on it, and I’d only have time to check my e-mail and skim through my f-list. Apart from a possible throwaway comment or two, I’ll be pretty much out of touch.

See you in a week! ♥

Minor Renovation: Complete

2009-07-31T11:18:26Z

Well. Now I've changed the layout. I... think I like it? It's still too new for me to know for sure. What do you think? :)

Oh, and a meme:

The "You Should Write..." Meme!
my thread here

I'm pretty sure I have a seat with my name on in Hell by now...

2009-07-28T16:13:10Z

Hullo, everyone!

Sorry for disappearing for a week just like that; I had ~~an unusually mild case of~~ PMS, so I wasn't feeling very sociable, but now I'm back. ♥

So what did I do during this period, apart from indulging in self-pity and chocolate? Getting obsessed with American fake-news-slash-satire shows, of course! *headdesk*
Turns out that The Daily Show and The Colbert Report actually do air in Sweden, although on the more obscure channels and around midnight, which explains why I've completely missed them. But not anymore! This under-stimulated, ADHD-brained, Harry Potter-obsessed, 70's rock-loving girl who has half-and-half boycotted newspapers the past years because it only makes her depressed are finally going to start reading them again and get some general knowledge. Because, you know, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert are awesome and I think I can handle it now. I have to, if I'm going to keep up with them and their strange American accents. *g*
And of course, since I have a new obsession, what is the first thing I do? I hurry off to TV Tropes, of course! *facepalm* And the next thing I do, naturally, is paying crack_van a visit. (Gods, why can't I be even remotely normal?) I suppose this is what I get for not turning and running for the hills at the merest mention of RPF; I want to, but I force myself to stay and meekly stutter-mumble about writers' creativity and freedom of speech. Usually I try to ignore it and not get into discussions about it. *headdesk, facepalm, etc.* MIND YOU, I vastly prefer (i.e. don't read anything but) "Stephen"/"Jon", the characters, instead of the actual RPF with the real Stephen and Jon. There is quite a difference between them. And since they are made up characters, it's okay, right? Because if one can't slash characters because they are portrayed by real persons, well, then one can't slash film- or TV-characters either, right? Right? (Why, yes, I'm really trying to convince myself I'm not an unethical freak here. Is it working?)
Anyhow. I don't think it'll be a huge problem. I mean, I don't ship them like I ship Remus/Sirius or Crowley/Aziraphale; it's more like a pleasant "… tee-hee. ♥"-ish reaction when they act all couple-y. (They aired the 20/7 ep of TDS yesterday [yeah, Sweden's a week behind] where Jon interviewed Brian Williams. It… well, I'll be honest and say that my respect for him skyrocketed when he – a white, middle-aged and heterosexual male etc. and all that rot, you know what I mean – has absolutely nothing against fooling about and mock-flirting with another man. Hats off to you, Jon; you show them paranoid fellas!)

But I actually have fic recs! The first one is purely TDS/TCR, and it actually plays around with the concept of RPF and not-RPF. Unless you get a severe allergic reaction at the slightest mention of RPF, you ought to read this: the premise is totally squee-worthy, and it's executed beautifully. It's slash, yes, but only in the not-RPF context. Dammit, you should just read this; I did it in one sitting, and I'm so jealous and petty and wish I had thought of something this clever.
The Thing With Feathers (PG-13) by reseda_ptah

This fic is actually a crossover with HP and is gen. It's short and cracktastic but so worth reading. During Harry's 6th Year at Hogwarts, "Stephen" Colbert turns out to be the new DADA teacher. Hilarity ensues.
Harry Potter and the Eagle of Truthiness (PGish) by Christine Morgan

What else? Hm… Well, I'm working on a (very belated) journal-entry where I'll show my ~~poor~~ attempts at painting. Should be ready for posting… soonish. Hopefully.

Otherwise, I'm actually pondering if I should change my journal layout. I still want something spacious and mostly-white, but perhaps along with sky-blue or maybe even red? Not pink, in any case. I'm also considering going through my icons and do some thorough cleaning. Is this something worth considering or should I just drop it?

Also. Since I can't have a credit card until I'm legal (i.e. eighteen) is there any way of paying for another year at LJ without actually having to transfer money from a plastic card? Like, something along the lines of SellYourSoul.com or something like that?

Fic: "The Year At Hogwarts..."

2009-07-20T10:19:05Z

— Want to read this at DreamWidth? No problem! —

This... is totally roterhimmel fault. We were fooling around and talking rubbish, and we ended up daring each other to write a crack-fic in two days, both with the same premise. We agreed that we had to use a predetermined line (I got "There are some who think it's nothing but metaphorical.") and that the fic had to be between 100 and 1000 words (which I almost managed). Again; this is all her fault. Unbeta'd crack: consider yourselves warned.

Title: The Year At Hogwarts That Didn't Turn Out Quite As Peter Had Planned Which Made Him Very Miffed Indeed
Summary: Exactly what it says on the tin.
Characters/Pairings: The Marauders; Lily, Severus, assorted characters (Highlight to read: RL/SB, SB/JP, RL/JP, RL/SB/JP, LE/SS, LE/JP, RL/SB/JP/LE)
Rating/Warnings: PG-15 // Highlight to read: Gratious sex, threesomes/foursomes, more sex, open relationships and even more sex
Genre: Crack
Word Count: 1 431
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters; I'm just playing around a bit.

- - - - -

It all started at King's Cross Station, platform 9¾, on the first of September, 1977.

Peter had arrived a bit early. He was looking forward to see his friends again after the long summer; they’d kept in touch through letters, which admittedly got boring after a while. He thought he was fully prepared to meet them again and exchange stories of the hols.

He wasn’t.

Three handsome young men were sashaying down the platform, and it took Peter several seconds and a quadruple-take to realise that the men were his friends. They must’ve been fed fertilizers during the summer, because all three of them were way past 6 feet tall. They were also tanned and so fit you could probably use their stomachs as truncheons. To top it off, they were dressed in straight jeans and hoodies — clothes that would not become fashionable until twenty years later — and Remus and James had short-cropped hair, while Sirius' locks somehow had grown a whole feet in just two months.

Peter, with his mullet haircut and bell-bottoms and wide-collared shirt, felt that he didn't quite fit into this group of new and improved Marauders. The feeling increased when the three boarded the train without as much as a glance at him.

Things didn't improve at Hogwarts. James, Sirius and Remus weren't ignoring Peter anymore, but they seemed to have a tendency to forget him. In James' case it was sort of justified, seeing that Lily had developed the impressive measurements of 104-24-98 over the summer. Sirius and Remus, however, had no excuse whatsoever. No, they should have even more time for Peter now that James was in a constant state of oh-my-Merlin-tits-yes-please-thank-you, but oh no, they just had eyes for each other.

Which did confuse Peter quite a bit. It wasn't normal for blokes to sit in each other's laps and be spoon-fed, was it? Especially considering that Calum D'Arcy had been burnt at the stake last year for hugging a mate of his. (D'Arcy, who was a smoker, became known as Calum "Light-Up-A-Fag" D'Arcy after that incident.)

This strange let's-ignore-Peter thing continued, much to Peter's chagrin. At least he figured out why after a while.

He was on his way up to the dormitory to collect his textbooks for the afternoon, when he heard a strange thumping sound coming from inside said dorm. He did not think before he opened the door — which he came to regret profoundly only a moment later — and was met by a cornea-burning sight. Remus and Sirius were having sex, raunchy by the look of it, and in a position most acrobats wouldn't manage. Also, they were doing it quite loudly.

"Oh, YES, Padfoot!"

"Oh, Moony! You're so tight—"

"Ah, ah, ah! Siri, ah-I'm—"

Peter shut the door with a bang. It didn't seem to interrupt Remus and Sirius' banging.

After having learnt that Remus and Sirius apparently were in a relationship — which Peter was incredibly disturbed by, thankyouverymuch — he was very mindful of knocking before he opened any doors. It was also why he was so surprised to stumble into James shagging Sirius over a table in one of the more secluded nooks of the library. Once again, the busy couple had more important things to attend to than acknowledging an audience.

It took Peter two weeks before he dared to enter the library again.

The next traumatic experience for Peter was only days after the library incident, when he was woken up by the most pornographic noises coming from James' bed.

"Oh, Prongs..."

"Yeah? Ah— You like that, Moony?"

"Oh sweet Merlin, YES!"

Peter could have handled it, he really could've, if Sirius hadn't decided to join in. As Peter heard him cross the distance between his bed and James', followed by yet more passionate cries and moaning, he bolted. The door might or might not have closed behind him — Peter didn't particularly care if it was.

Peter had by now turned into a very jittery individual. Wherever he went, he seemed to end up with a ringside seat to the James and Sirius and Remus Sex Show. That they kept on insisting calling each other by their nicknames in the throes of passion didn't help things either.

There were some who thought the nicknames were nothing but metaphorical. Of course, they were wrong; the names were very literal, actually. But with this let's-have-sex-all-over-Hogwarts thing, it became apparent to Peter that they could be interpreted in other ways as well. James... well, that one went without saying. Remus seemed to like taking it up the arse more than anything else, and Sirius had a weird fixation on feet and calves. As for Peter, that was nobody's business, thankyouverymuch.

It wasn't that Peter was becoming more open-minded — only jaded, if anything — and he absolutely didn't want to join in, but he couldn't help feeling even more kept out than he had at the start of term. His friends apparently wanted to shag everything that moved and had a dick attached, but had rejected him from the start. It wasn't fair, and honestly, Peter felt a little betrayed.

As Peter crept alongside Hogwart's walls, heading for the kitchens, he found himself within hearing-range of a conversation between Evans and Snape. So grateful that it wasn't another three-way nookie, Peter lingered a bit. He was, after all, curious by nature.

"No, Sev, I've told you, we're through. You're not welcome anymore, I'm saving all my loving for someone who's loving me!"

"But, oh, Lily, my aim is true! I do love you! Sometimes I wish I could stop you from talking when I hear the silly things that you say!"

"For the love of— Sev! For the last time, I'm not in love, so don't forget it! It's just a silly phase I'm going through!"

"Lily! My, my, at Waterloo Napoleon did surrender, and I have met my destiny in quite a similar way. I promise to love you for ever more, I know my fate is to be with you!"

"No, Sev! You shot me down, I hit the ground— Wait, you know who Napoleon is?"

"I read about him in the history book on the shelf. Anyway, you better shape up, to your heart you must be true! I'm the one that you want, otherwise you wouldn't still be calling me 'Sev', would you?"

"That's just because I have nothing better to do than being torn between you and Potter. Oh, I'm feeling like a fool! Loving both of you is breaking all the rules!"

"I used to be disgusted, but now I try to be amused. What do you see in that big-headed prat anyway?"

"Oh, Sev, can't you see that it's impossible to choose? No, there's no making sense of it, every way I go I'm bound to lose!"

"Oh, Lily, I think somebody better put out the big light, 'cause I can't stand to see you this way!"

Having become fed-up with the melodrama and sickly-sweetness of the conversation, Peter continued his stroll down the hallway, while he still remained un-traumatised.

By Christmas, James had somehow managed to tear himself away from gay sex long enough to seduce Evans, and they were officially a couple. Peter liked this line of development very much; maybe things would cool down a bit now? If nothing else, at least only two of his friends were engaging in man-on-man action, and not three. Always something.

These hopes were instantly crushed when Peter, on New Year's Eve, stumbled half-drunk into their dorm and found Remus, Sirius, James and Evans naked and sweaty on the floor. It was like a human, carnal herd of zebras: Peter couldn't tell where one person ended and another started. Suffice it to say, he slept in the common room for the rest of the hols.

"Pettigrew? What are you doing here?"

Peter jumped, then sighed and gestured to the greenhouse behind him. "Not getting laid, that's what I'm doing."

"I see." Snape sat down beside him on the grass and they observed the cloud formations together. One looked a bit like a skull with a huge worm coming out of its mouth.

"You know," Snape suddenly spoke up, "I know this club-thing, about needlework and pastries and Dark Arts and stuff. If you have nothing better to do, maybe you'd like to join?"

Peter turned to look at him: Snape, Snivellus, the Marauders' worst enemy. In the distance, soft moaning could be heard.

"You know what?" said Peter. "I think I will. When's the next meeting?"

- - - fin - - -

Author's Note: Well, I think that I can now safely disclose the premise roterhimmel and I agreed on without spoiling the story: that the real reason Peter betrayed his friends to Voldemort was because he was feeling left out when James, Sirius and Remus were having hot boy-sex all over Hogwarts. Like I said, this is all her fault. ♥

Disclaimer #2: I don't own any of the songs whose lyrics I butchered and abused in this fic. They belong to — respectively — Gloria Gaynor, Elvis Costello, 10cc, ABBA, Cher, the creators of Grease, Mary MacGregor, E. Costello again, Queen and Elvis C. once more. (There, I think that was all?)

Fanart: "Jesus of Cool"

2009-07-19T11:54:08Z

— Want to read this at DreamWidth? No problem! —

Title: Jesus of Cool
Characters/Pairings: James Potter
Genre: Portrait
Rating/Warning: G
Medium: Pencil drawing (7B and 8B); retouched in Photoshop Elements 5.0
Disclaimer: I don’t own Harry Potter or any of the characters; I’m just playing around a bit.

Small version: 506x636
Large version: 795x1000

Title shamelessly nicked from Nick Lowe's first LP. It… wasn't meant to be so biblical, this drawing. I was trying out different background effects, and it wasn't supposed to turn out quite so halo-like. Oh well, James has lots of Christian references, being named after the first disciple to suffer martyrdom and all… Anyways.

This drawing came into being for several reasons: 1) I've always adored James, but never been able to put him down on paper. I wanted to change that. 2) I'm currently on a perfectionism high and want my drawings of the Marauders to have a more 70's feel to them. I'm trying to convince myself that it's more important that they look retro/true/as horrible as they did back then, rather than looking pretty. And 3) I wanted to take my mind off of all my art assignments. ♥

I used quite a bit of reference for this one. For face and body and all that, Andrew Garfield posed as model. (Because he is my James Potter. The thin-haired man in the films that look like my dad is not.) I stole the specs from Elvis Costello that he wore in the late 70's. As for the hairstyle, I just tried to re-create the famous shag, though James' mutinous hair wasn't too co-operative. I used no reference for the shirt, so I apologise if the collar and creases are wonky.

All in all, I'm satisfied with the result. He looks pretty much like he does in my mind! ♥ (Oh, and his eyes are enormous because the prescription of his glasses are crazy-strong. He's very long-sighted, you see.)

Well, why not?

2009-07-16T17:37:52Z

❝the HARRYPOTTER meme❞

Two legs and a pulse don't meet the standard, apparently.

2009-07-16T17:33:59Z

I'm an on-and-off reader of the Swedish science magazine Illustrerad Vetenskap ("Science Illustrated" in English) and in their latest number they had an article about beauty. It was interesting, pretty focused on the whole biological aspect of it, and they presented several manipulated faces that people participating in the experiment had found more beautiful than real faces. Among those, there was an image that showed the most unattractive vs. the most attractive (manipulated) faces in both men and women. This is what scientists came up with:

I... can't say I agree with that. They look far too bland and scary. If I got to have a say on the subject, I'd actually say that this is a lot more accurate:

Or something like this:

Or perhaps this:

I could continue this list forever.
How about you? Do you agree with the article? Why/Why not?